Favoriting Seven Second Delay with Andy and Ken: Playlist from January 11, 2023 Favoriting

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The program formerly known as Dinner at Andy's, The Fuzzy Glove Hour, Whores, and The Happiness Hut. Ken and Andy, also known as The Enema Boys, further lower WFMU's already abysmal standards on a weekly basis. Stunt radio which subjects the radio audience to concepts and topics which mature adults should not have to endure. Find the fatal flaw. (Visit homepage.)

Wednesday 6 - 7pm (EST) | On WFMU | 91.1, 90.1, 91.9 FM & wfmu.org
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Wed. Nov 13th, 6pm - 8pm: Seven Second Delay

Favoriting January 11, 2023: Writing Punchlines for the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest

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Listener comments!

Avatar 5:37pm
khd:

"go to hell"
Avatar 5:51pm
khd:

"this first guy's name is 'go', the second one is 'to' and the last one is 'hell'"
Avatar 6:01pm
(Murakami Whywolf))):

'Christ! what an asshole!!!'
Avatar 🚂 Swag For Life Member 6:01pm
Erin in TO:

I was so confused when Andy came on Irwin's show
  6:01pm
beej:

"I'm sorry, did you want that order of squab COOKED?"
Avatar 6:02pm
(((Murakami Whywolf):

'You’re lucky my chicks are here!'
Avatar 🚂 Swag For Life Member 6:03pm
Will thee Sound Guy:

Hi Andy, Ken, and all!!!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:03pm
dale:

'that? oh, it's in case the birds shit' on my forearm.
Avatar 🚂 Swag For Life Member 6:04pm
Aaron in Minneapolis:

↳ dale @6:03
HE WON
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:04pm
Matt from Springfield:

TOO SOON, ANDY!!! >:(

...just in case he lets out another barb at Jeff Beck, hours after we heard...
Avatar 6:04pm
(((Murakami Whywolf):

'Some bird-shit while you wait?'
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:04pm
dale:

↳ Aaron in Minneapolis @6:04
thanks man!
Avatar 🚂 6:05pm
herb.nyc:

farah fawcett died on same day as michael jackson?
  6:05pm
morphe':

↳ Erin in TO @6:01
Erin -This is allegedly true => years ago Andy toured with/opened for Don McLean ...apparently McLean was horrible to Andy and on the last night Andy played American Pie as his last song before McLean came on..
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:05pm
PaulRobeson1923:

On the grassy noël! That’s french!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:05pm
listener 126464:

...yeah, it's Ozzy Osbourne karaoke night.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:05pm
Matt from Springfield:

"At long last dead..."
Pah, you can always count on Andy for this stuff.

HI Ken & Andy & "Dinner Crowd"!
  6:05pm
Jackie G:

Andy has nice "cans"
Avatar 🚂 Swag For Life Member 6:05pm
Will thee Sound Guy:

damn I didn't know he died at 78
Avatar 🚂 Swag For Life Member 6:06pm
Erin in TO:

↳ morphe' @6:05
I've heard the tales! I hope it's true
Avatar 🚂 6:06pm
I.M.Pufnstuf:

And then he throws the guitar on the sidewalk and walks away.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:06pm
dale:

↳ herb.nyc @6:05
yeah - her death was totally overshadowed by the white gloved pedophile.
Avatar 🚂 Swag For Life Member 6:06pm
Aaron in Minneapolis:

RIP Beck, you were great with Two Turntables and a Microphone, but you weren't a Loser.
Avatar 6:06pm
HyperDose:

Guitars taste better in pieces
Avatar 🚂 6:06pm
I.M.Pufnstuf:

I just saw him play with Johnny Depp last month.
  6:06pm
pared:

That’s Jeff Beck in that scene?? Wow
Avatar 🚂 Swag For Life Member 6:07pm
Aaron in Minneapolis:

"Sir, me and my bird friends were discussing who got laid more, Sinatra or Beck"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:08pm
PaulRobeson1923:

If u were a kid in Afghanistan
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:08pm
Matt from Springfield:

Jeff Beck was the lead guitar on "Heart Full of Soul".
  6:08pm
Sam:

Nothing but snow days from here on out!
  6:08pm
beej:

It's the last days of the Yardbirds, when Jeff Beck and Jimmy Page were both in the ban. Shortly thereafter Beck and Keith Relf left and they morphed into Led Zeppelin.
  6:09pm
beej:

that's band...
  6:09pm
Jackie G:

Jeff Beck was in the movie "The Pope Must Die" A funny movie.
Avatar 🚂 6:10pm
herb.nyc:

"would the gentleman care to molest one of these birds?"
Avatar 6:11pm
(Murakami Whywolf))):

'I CAN'T put them down—THEY HAVE MY FAMILY!'
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:11pm
Hopey Sockmonkey:

"Diners make their selection for today's dish "The Ozzy Special""
  6:12pm
bridgetteanddaisy:

That was so funny
Avatar 6:12pm
(((Murakami Whywolf):

'Pick-your-own ortolan!'
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:12pm
Fuzzy:

The perfect caption was determined some time ago:
www.robertsinclair.net...
Avatar 🚂 6:12pm
herb.nyc:

re my caption, i apologize to andy's wife
Avatar 6:12pm
TroyD8:

Caption: what are the vultures on strike again?!
  6:13pm
lazy pierogi:

you have some tough competition tonight: https://www.instagram.com/p/CnR3xCTuXCc/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Avatar 6:14pm
(Murakami Whywolf))):

'The gentleman remarked that he’d love to see a server with three tits….'
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:14pm
common:

"these birds just flew out of my ass. i just wanted to show you."
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:14pm
Matt from Springfield:

Hmm, soliciting transgressive or non-transgressive captions tonight?
Avatar 6:14pm
Fredericks:

I was hoping to hear Jose Jimenez answer.
Avatar 6:14pm
(((Murakami Whywolf):

'One-on-one, I think we can take them.'
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:14pm
Little Danny:

nicely done herb.nyc :)
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:15pm
listener 126464:

'My support herd of llama have the day off.'
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:15pm
Mark Hurst:

Bob Mankoff was one of the early guests on Techtonic, back in 2018
  6:15pm
UWS Joe:

“From telephone pole to table.”
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:15pm
dale:

'the squab is incredibly fresh tonight.'
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:16pm
PaulRobeson1923:

“Are you folks familiar with The Grassy Noël?”
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:16pm
Matt from Springfield:

"Me and my 'birds' are swingers. We *get off* at 8:30, if you catch our drift..."
  6:16pm
TVP:

"Tukata tuk, it'll bring ya luck."
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:17pm
Matt from Springfield:

↳ Matt from Springfield @6:16
I have no non-transgressive jokes for tonight. (Or ever).
  6:17pm
Tony:

If they have coffee, doesn't that mean it's the end of the meal? Maybe they are waiting to get the check, but the waiter brought chicks instead?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:18pm
Handy Haversack:

I still think "Christ, what an asshole" is the only good caption for NYer cartoons. The bar has been set unsurpassably high.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:18pm
Noonaco:

These birds are exclusively "Street to Table"
  6:18pm
Jackie G:

↳ Tony @6:17
There must be a joke there.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:18pm
Matt from Springfield:

Jack Handy + Andy B! "Deep Cringe"!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:18pm
dale:

'you asked for the birds nest soup. it will be ready thursday.'
  6:18pm
Chud:

↳ (Murakami Whywolf))) @6:01
Lol, the classic!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:18pm
Hopey Sockmonkey:

Ruined, or IMPROVED?
Avatar 6:19pm
(Murakami Whywolf))):

↳ Tony @6:17
'A little birdshit for your coffee?'
Avatar 🚂 6:19pm
herb.nyc:

hmm, instead of "f.u.", how about "f andy"? i apologiz to andy and beth.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:19pm
dale:

no aids or cancer? wtf?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:19pm
pot8o:

hi everyone!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:19pm
PaulRobeson1923:

“give us this day no sonic boom.”
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:19pm
Handy Haversack:

↳ Fuzzy @6:12
Sorry, Fuzzy had already said!
  6:19pm
Tony:

↳ Jackie G @6:18
But he just said no obvious puns.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:20pm
Matt from Springfield:

↳ Handy Haversack @6:18
The art library at my university had a book of all the NYer cartoons before 2000 or so. Their pre-1960s ones were truly lousy. Top floor of the Yale Club material.
  6:20pm
Dean:

"Our special tonight is bird poop soup."

The New Yorker caption contest is often a little odd. The candidate captions often work only as after-thoughts (which is what they are). They only work as entries in a contest. They lack independent motivation as humor in the way that a real NYer cartoon typically does.
  6:20pm
greg:

They want to know what's wrong with the saucers
Avatar 6:20pm
Fredericks:

I heard you can replace any caption with "Jeffrey Toobin took out his penis during a Zoom meeting."
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:20pm
Handy Haversack:

↳ Matt from Springfield @6:20
I honestly don't think there's been much improvement.

But I'm a bad person.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:21pm
Mxter Baba:

"I donated to WFMU and all I got was these three pigeons."
  6:21pm
Smacky:

"Every little thing's gonna be all right."
Avatar 6:21pm
khd:

that's a "on the way homer"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:21pm
paddy in matawan:

wrong cheese bozo
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:21pm
Matt from Springfield:

↳ Mxter Baba @6:21
Bucks-for-Birds!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:21pm
iiibeat:

Either . . "The food supply truck never showed up . ." or "Do you like my little friends?"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:21pm
pollypinocle:

"We prefer the term 'early ze special' "
Avatar 6:22pm
khd:

"uhm, the feta cheese is a little runny tonite"
Avatar 6:22pm
dday:

"Hi. I'm Mike Nesmith. I'm collecting pigeons for my Mom"
  6:22pm
Androu B.:

Here's your caption:

"Sorry for your displeasure over your orders. We'll have them redone shortly. While you wait, the manager would like to compensate you with some entertainment, courtesy of our in-house "band". Trust me, you'll love them. They perform an amazing rendition of "Love In Bloom".
Avatar 6:22pm
HyperDose:

"Cause I don't want no Pigeons, them be them girls who gets no dubs from me"
  6:22pm
Ïke̶̬̕:

The fatal flaw in Andy's caption is that birds don't shit cubes.

(As far as I know.)
Avatar 6:22pm
khd:

"can we be any more white?"
Avatar 6:23pm
HyperDose:

scat
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:23pm
Matt from Springfield:

↳ Androu B. @6:22
THAT is like those old New Yorker captions! May even still work today...
Avatar 6:23pm
(Murakami Whywolf))):

guano
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:23pm
paddy in matawan:

"I'll bet you always wondered what the towel was for."
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:23pm
Hopey Sockmonkey:

Shiz
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:23pm
Mxter Baba:

↳ khd @6:22
yer crackin me UP!!!
Avatar 🚂 Swag For Life Member 6:23pm
Aaron in Minneapolis:

POOP HAPPENS the best board game ever!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:23pm
sydnius:

”so, New York Style Chicken?”
  6:24pm
Jackie G:

Jose? Thought they said his name was Pablo.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:24pm
PaulRobeson1923:

Bird mess
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:24pm
spodiodi:

pooh (it's 4 letters) 🤷‍♂️
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:24pm
dale:

'i'm sorry. thursday is BYOP night.'
  6:24pm
Jackie G:

Don't say poop. say dookie.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:24pm
common:

"what pigeons?"
Avatar 6:25pm
khd:

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn."
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:25pm
spodiodi:

mess is great ✅
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:25pm
Vanessa bikes:

I got nothing, it's weird.
  6:25pm
Androu B.:

↳ Matt from Springfield @6:23
Than-Q! *bows*
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:25pm
Handy Haversack:

↳ khd @6:25
Much like "Christ, what an asshole," it works for them all!
Avatar 🚂 6:25pm
herb.nyc:

"i'd like to show you my ozzy osbourne imitation"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:25pm
paddy in matawan:

"They GG Allin'ed the soup!"
Avatar 6:26pm
khd:

"how do you like your eggs?" is a good one!
  Swag For Life Member 6:26pm
jepaka:

"Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Doo"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:27pm
paddy in matawan:

"May I interest you in the soup du jour?"
Avatar 6:27pm
(Murakami Whywolf))):

↳ khd @6:25
They don't accept dialect humour.
  6:27pm
Dean:

So far, "How do you like your eggs" is the only suggestion that avoids the contest predicament.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:28pm
Fuzzy:

↳ khd @6:26
"Christ, what an asshole" has met it's match!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:28pm
Matt from Springfield:

"It is the most feathery mousse"...
Avatar 🚂 Swag For Life Member 6:28pm
Ken From Hyde Park:

"Please follow us on Twitter."
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:28pm
spodiodi:

may i present today's specials?
  6:28pm
AB:

‘But are they Kosher?’
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:28pm
cosmic matrix:

"Sorry, we are out of napkins. I had to use the last one so these birds wouldn't sh*t on my arm."
Avatar 6:28pm
khd:

@ken i like that one
Avatar 6:28pm
The Chief:

They're here to explain the special. I'm here to make sure it doesn't fly over your head.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:29pm
Handy Haversack:

"Ever notice how you never see a dead pigeon?"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:29pm
Noonaco:

I'm going to take my break, if you need anything, ask these guys
Avatar 🚂 6:29pm
herb.nyc:

"dont try ordering in french" - good one!
Avatar 6:29pm
HyperDose:

HAHAHAHA
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:29pm
spodiodi:

some beard joke / beard nest joke
  6:29pm
Sam:

Zeese ees indeed what you ordaired!
Avatar 6:29pm
Doug in MP:

"i'd like to add you to my professional network on linkedin"
  6:29pm
Dean:

"My mistake. I thought you ordered three live birds."
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:29pm
Matt from Springfield:

↳ The Chief @6:28
🙄
That's a workable one.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:29pm
paddy in matawan:

"Here's your chicken. Eat up!"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:30pm
Hopey Sockmonkey:

"It's bring your Children to Work Day."
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:30pm
iiibeat:

"What else can we do with them??"
Avatar 6:30pm
tak:

"you should see what the chef has in his hat"
Avatar 6:30pm
The Chief:

This is a great place to pick up chicks.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:30pm
spodiodi:

egg drop soup 👏
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:30pm
Hopey Sockmonkey:

Egg drop soup is the clear leader.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:30pm
paddy in matawan:

egg drop poop
  6:30pm
Sam:

Don’t get the egg drop soup with feta cheese! Hey-oh!
Avatar 🚂 6:31pm
herb.nyc:

"go on, pull the cloth. can ya make the birds stay?"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:31pm
Matt from Springfield:

"This is just my day job until my ventriloquist act takes off. So, while I drink this cup of coffee, why don't you fellas sing the specials to these nice people?"...
Avatar 6:31pm
khd:

egg poop soup is still scatalogical
  6:31pm
wenzo:

What did I miss
Avatar 🚂 Swag For Life Member 6:31pm
DjLorraine:

"I assure you we are the most natrual restaurant in town"
  6:32pm
Danne D:

"Mr Tyson sends his regards"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:32pm
Matt from Springfield:

↳ Hopey Sockmonkey @6:30
On Bring Your 'Kids' to Work Day, mine ate most of the tablecloths.
Avatar 🚂 Swag For Life Member 6:33pm
Ken From Hyde Park:

"Turns out the hard-boiled eggs were, in fact, not boiled at all."
Avatar 6:33pm
tak:

"don't worry about my tips, I'm sure they'll leave you some crumbs"
Avatar 🚂 Swag For Life Member 6:33pm
DjLorraine:

Natural. ....
Avatar 6:33pm
The Chief:

Oh I see the confusion! You ordered a flight of DRINKS.
  6:33pm
Dean:

"Why are you staring at my three birds? Your table is floating in mid-air!"
  6:33pm
dwaynebickford:

sorry, we are out of lobster
  6:34pm
Danne D:

"All our menu items are park to table"
  6:34pm
?:

mine is “Hope you enjoyed the magic show…I’ll see what’s keeping your server.”
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:34pm
dale:

'phone call for you mr. ross'

(homing pigeon joke?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:34pm
Matt from Springfield:

↳ The Chief @6:33
Modern and slightly hip term - the NYer might use that to attract readers younger than 70.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:34pm
paddy in matawan:

↳ dale @6:34
love that
Avatar 6:35pm
khd:

"The domestic pigeon (Columba livia domestica or Columba livia forma domestica[2]) is a pigeon subspecies that was derived from the rock dove (also called the rock pigeon). The rock pigeon is the world's oldest domesticated bird. Mesopotamian cuneiform tablets mention the domestication of pigeons more than 5,000 years ago, as do Egyptian hieroglyphics.[3] Research suggests that domestication of pigeons occurred as early as 10,000 years ago.[3]"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:35pm
dale:

LOVE the muscular dystrophy telethons...
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:35pm
Matt from Springfield:

YES! If you really have a copy of "The Day the Clown Cried" screen it @Monty Hall!!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:35pm
dale:

↳ paddy in matawan @6:34
thanks man!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:38pm
Mxter Baba:

"Corn pudding in an emesis basin with a big wooden spoon will cure you of all these unnatural Autumnal urges."
  6:38pm
UWS Joe:

“Some restaurants have rats!”
Avatar 6:38pm
Fredericks:

It's bring your pigeons to work day, of course.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:38pm
iiibeat:

"I am working my way up to a falcon."
Haaaa!!!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:39pm
dale:

'chef ramsey says they are perfectly cooked and that you should shut the fuck up.'
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:39pm
Matt from Springfield:

"Dan from Kearny"!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:39pm
Mxter Baba:

↳ Mxter Baba @6:38
full disclosure: I stole that from a Franco Twinkie comment in a chat from last year. This is my method!
  6:39pm
Old Dave:

Fresh squab, if you wish
Avatar 6:39pm
The Chief:

↳ dale @6:39
lol
  Swag For Life Member 6:39pm
jepaka:

"They are not all original Yardbirds; sadly we've lost Jeff Beck."
  6:39pm
Danne D:

no longer in Kearny though
Avatar 6:40pm
khd:

lol @jepaka
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:40pm
Matt from Springfield:

↳ Danne D @6:39
Spoiler alert!
Where's the current domicile?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:40pm
McGroovey:

"Which one don't you want to eat?"
Avatar 6:41pm
The Chief:

"Who farted?"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:41pm
Vanessa bikes:

"Hi, my name is Mark and I'll be your server tonight, before I tell you about the specials, I'd like to tell you about global warming..."
  6:41pm
Danne D:

might have you wait for marathon time MfS :)
  6:41pm
TVP:

Text from my mum in Europe: "If you want polly on a cracker, it's $100 extra."
Avatar 🚂 Swag For Life Member 6:41pm
Ken From Hyde Park:

"They're my emotional support pigeons."
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:41pm
cosmic matrix:

"I'm not wearing any underwear."
  6:42pm
Danne D:

one town over from East Jersey Prison
Avatar 🚂 6:42pm
herb.nyc:

"these birds will go in yr goody bag. let me twist their necks and you can cook them tom'w"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:42pm
Matt from Springfield:

↳ TVP @6:41
YES!
  6:42pm
Retinox:

Why yes they were on their way home
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:42pm
paddy in matawan:

"Here are some birds for you to eat"
  6:42pm
jojo:

We can’t afford a cleaning service
Avatar 6:42pm
Fredericks:

Mine got the longest laugh.
Avatar 6:42pm
dday:

"Hi. I'm Mike Nesmith. I'm collecting pigeons for my Mom" or since the guy seated kinda looks like Nesmith.."No Mr. Nesmith, you can't have these for your Mom."
  6:42pm
Dean:

"You asked for separate bills. This is the best we can do."
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:42pm
iiibeat:

"Would you prefer Huey, Dewey or Louie?"
  6:43pm
Retinox:

Can you juggle?
  6:43pm
Ben W:

“Yeah, you could say it’s locally sourced.”
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:43pm
Matt from Springfield:

↳ Danne D @6:41
A little suspense, I like :)
Look forward to another fun Marathon soon!!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:43pm
dale:

↳ Dean @6:42
good one!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:43pm
McGroovey:

I guess mine didn't rate a reading. ~~~sigh~~~
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:43pm
Mxter Baba:

↳ Dean @6:42
It's a near-miss pun!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:43pm
Matt from Springfield:

Beak, bill, it's close enough for a joke! Good one Dean!
Avatar 6:44pm
dday:

pigeons have beaks, ducks have bills
  6:44pm
Mick:

Well, they’re woke now, but they won’t be when I serve them.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:44pm
Vanessa bikes:

↳ Dean @6:42
good one!
Avatar 🚂 Swag For Life Member 6:44pm
Polly.:

These pigeons are our new meal-delivery service. Please tip them generously.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:44pm
paddy in matawan:

loose interpretation. I'll allow it. Good one.
  6:44pm
James:

This is Edward, my emotional support pigeon. I don't know the other two.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:44pm
Vanessa bikes:

↳ dale @6:43
jinx!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:44pm
common:

@paddy: yes!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:44pm
Noonaco:

We're sorry to hear you didn't like the entree. But these 3 ate it yesterday and said it was delicious.
  6:44pm
UWS Joe:

Oh no no, these are rock doves.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:44pm
Matt from Springfield:

↳ McGroovey @6:43
The squeaky wheel! ;)
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:44pm
McGroovey:

Well, it kinda got a laugh.
  6:45pm
Danne D:

would you like to see our early bird specials?
  6:45pm
Bill Graef:

My three friends here will translate tonight’s menu that’s in Pidgin English.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:45pm
paddy in matawan:

"The bones are so tiny you dont even notice them"
  6:45pm
greg:

Barabas!
  6:45pm
Androu B.:

↳ Androu B. @6:22
Ken, read mine up top!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:45pm
Mxter Baba:

↳ James @6:44
and this is Gordon, Edward's emotional support pigeon, and this is Jordan, Edward's metamour.
  6:45pm
Sam:

“I’d like to introduce Larry, Curly and Moe”
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:45pm
McGroovey:

↳ Bill Graef @6:45
LIKE
  6:45pm
Sam:

Don’t try ordering in French. Order in pigeon English.
  6:46pm
MJ:

Bird,bird,bird. Bird is the word.
  6:46pm
Mick:

This is my message to you.
  6:46pm
Dwayne:

mild, medium or spicy
  6:46pm
Jonathan:

We proudly have the largest pigeon cellar in all of Manhattan.
Avatar 6:46pm
HyperDose:

poop-on haha nice
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:46pm
Hunterian:

↳ Danne D @6:45
Winner winner pigeon dinner!
  6:47pm
Dean:

"Our apologies for all of the delays and mistakes with your meal this evening. We entirely understand all of the complaints you've lodged throughout the entire you evening. Accordingly, I'd like to give you the bird."
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:47pm
paddy in matawan:

more like poop-off amirite?!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:47pm
dale:

our grubhub employees can only carry one french fry at a time.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:47pm
Matt from Springfield:

Good 'Grey Poupon'! I don't know if that will pass the NYer, but that will work somewhere!
  6:47pm
pared:

It’s hard to get delivery drivers these days
  6:47pm
JetBoy of Astoria:

My little friends suggest the steak
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:47pm
listener 126464:

These guys were rescued from the old Rainforest Cafe.
  6:47pm
Dean:

^entire evening.
  6:47pm
Sam:

“Here is some authentic New York street food”
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:47pm
Mr. Corey LLC:

One vote for the French caption. There is usually a not too topical, timeless quality to these.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:47pm
paddy in matawan:

"Did you want the heads on?"
  6:47pm
Chud:

Oliver trained at Juilliard, and is paired with a pear salad
Avatar 🚂 Swag For Life Member 6:47pm
Aaron in Minneapolis:

“I agree with the lady, flute is for little sissy boys”
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:48pm
cosmic matrix:

flude?
  6:48pm
morphe':

fluke??
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:48pm
lazy pierogi:

"Would you like any milk, cream, or half-and-half?"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:48pm
spodiodi:

hahaha
  6:48pm
Dean:

"Thank you for dining at For the Birds."
  6:48pm
FreeTheForms:

Well since Danny Meyer has acquired twitter…
  6:48pm
S_Rah:

Me too
  6:48pm
Tom:

“Stop the Pigeon”
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:49pm
paddy in matawan:

hehe
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:49pm
Mark Hurst:

I think Aaron was saying "fluke is for sissy boys"
  6:49pm
Retinox:

Dad they just need a ride home
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:49pm
common:

paddy's is the best! still laughing
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:49pm
Mark Hurst:

Oh flute, sorry
Avatar 🚂 Swag For Life Member 6:49pm
Ken From Hyde Park:

"They warned him about opening up a restaurant along the eastern flyway, but he did it anyway."
  6:49pm
Danne D:

"why yes we deliver, why do you ask?"
Avatar 6:49pm
dday:

"I know you ordered three French hens, but you know, inflation"
Avatar 6:50pm
KingOfJunk:

Aperitif?
  6:50pm
wind:

Fried or sautéed with three eggs on the side.
Avatar 6:50pm
Fredericks:

"Little advice, avoid the egg drop soup."
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:50pm
paddy in matawan:

Synchronized fries jokes!
  6:50pm
Danne D:

AARON!!!!
  6:50pm
MKT in Inwood:

“Now, the next waiter will be carrying a wolf, and the next a bag of bagels. Get us through your meal untouched, and dessert is free.”
  6:50pm
JetBoy of Astoria:

“The nests are extra”
  6:50pm
pared:

Colombe is French for pigeon
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:50pm
cosmic matrix:

"We're about to close. If you don't leave soon, we'll set out the attack birds."
Avatar 🚂 6:50pm
herb.nyc:

"our chef makes a great Peking Pigeon"
  6:51pm
bridgetteanddaisy:

“Our chef recommends the fresh squab this evening …Its flying off our ‘arm to table” menu.”
Avatar 6:51pm
dday:

"Rats with wings?"
No. We only have them on the lunch menu"
  6:51pm
Al:

Complements of Mr. Cooperfield
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:51pm
Ciggy:

Compliments from the Chef 👩‍🍳
Avatar 🚂 Swag For Life Member 6:51pm
Ken From Hyde Park:

"They suggest a beef entree."
  6:51pm
Danne D:

"You should see the other guy"
  6:51pm
bowhead:

If you remember, I didn't recommend ordering the early bird special.
Avatar 6:51pm
khd:

"we all die alone"
  6:51pm
James:

↳ dday @6:51
Sort of like a surf and turf
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:52pm
cosmic matrix:

...wait "set out?" I mean "let out." or something.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:52pm
D Rok:

"Pick the diseased pigeon, and dessert is free."
  6:52pm
Retinox:

They're pushing the fries tonight...
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:52pm
paddy in matawan:

Not a single Clay Pigeon joke?
  6:52pm
JetBoy of Astoria:

If you like, one of these birds will regurgitate into your mouth
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:52pm
Matt from Springfield:

↳ Danne D @6:51
Minimalist - but good! Works for many diff captions.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:53pm
milkis:

Remember guys, we're not supposed to feed them even though they look hungry.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:53pm
dale:

'no tie, no service'
  6:53pm
Chris:

Pidgin is a pun.
  6:53pm
Dean:

"You ordered the 1975 Château Trois Oiseaux?"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:53pm
cosmic matrix:

"Did you order scrambled eggs? These ladies want to have a word with you."
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:54pm
McGroovey:

↳ D Rok @6:52
✓good
  6:54pm
MKT in Inwood:

EDIT: “Now, the next waiter will be carrying a cat, and the next a bag of bagels. Get them through your meal intact, and dessert is free.”
Avatar 6:54pm
HyperDose:

Clean plate club is good
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:54pm
paddy in matawan:

"Did you order from the raw bar?"
  6:54pm
Listener Alice in Fanwood:

They call me the Pidge!
Avatar 🚂 Swag For Life Member 6:54pm
Ken From Hyde Park:

"May I take your cote?"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:54pm
McGroovey:

↳ paddy in matawan @6:54
👍
  6:54pm
Sam:

No need to worry about bugs in your food!
Avatar 6:54pm
khd:

@paddy - good 1
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:54pm
Noonaco:

Birds aren't real
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:54pm
dale:

'welcome to dollywood.'
Avatar 🚂 Swag For Life Member 6:55pm
nortonjutland:

I recommend anything but the squab
Avatar 6:55pm
The Chief:

Welcome to NXNW, our special is "Dial 'M' for Mackerel'"
  6:55pm
James:

Our meat is always fresh.
Avatar 6:55pm
khd:

"we all die alone" is from mark newgarden
  6:55pm
Mick:

This is my message to you
  6:55pm
Danne D:

"We are short on staff as most are currently down south"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:55pm
JeremyB:

I’m sorry, we couldn’t fit these pigeons in the pie… would you like them to go?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:55pm
PigeonsAndRust:

"I'm sorry Mr Blaine, your hat is missing."
  6:55pm
Chud:

Toothpick?
Avatar 6:55pm
khd:

this whole process reminds me of newgarden's work
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:56pm
Travisano66:

We have half & half, cream, soy milk, oat milk, and pigeon poo.
  6:56pm
Danne D:

Variation on Ken's:

"Winner, Winner"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:56pm
spodiodi:

"Welcome to Awwyiss, these are tonight's specials"
  6:56pm
Beebon:

Oh, there in training… hey
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:56pm
listener 126464:

Guess which pigeon is sitting on your check for 10% off.
  6:56pm
Sam:

“I’ve brought you some pigeons to show my contempt for you.”
Avatar 6:57pm
Chris from Brooklyn:

Sorry Sir. Union rules. The three french hens are out of season

Turtle dove?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:57pm
lazy pierogi:

"These are on the house - no perches necessary"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:57pm
spodiodi:

"The Geek spcial, sir"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:58pm
PigeonsAndRust:

@lazy, even tho its a pun "These are on the house." Is great
Avatar 6:59pm
Fredericks:

Try "It's bring your pigeons to work day, of course."
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:59pm
Matt from Springfield:

This made me thankful I'm not near an issue of the New Yorker. Lot of funny suggestions everyone! Have a good nigh!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:59pm
Bernardo:

Lazy perogi takes it!!!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:59pm
Matt from Springfield:

*night. The night, is nigh...
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:59pm
McGroovey:

Oh, I got an "oh God" from Andy the second time.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:00pm
paddy in matawan:

"Dinner at Andy's is served."
Avatar 7:00pm
HyperDose:

Thanks boys!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:00pm
paddy in matawan:

xoxox
  7:00pm
Sam:

I don’t get the crumb cake one
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:00pm
cosmic matrix:

that was fun
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:01pm
spodiodi:

pigeons like mf breadcrumbs
Avatar 🚂 Swag For Life Member 7:01pm
Ken From Hyde Park:

Good show, folks!
Avatar 7:01pm
dday:

The waiter is Andy, The diner is Ken "Go to hell"
  7:01pm
Sam:

Did somebody order three small peckers?
Avatar 7:04pm
Danne D:

I made the cut! Yay! Have a good night folks!
Avatar 7:05pm
dday:

"Jeff Beck left his car collection to these Yardbirds"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:07pm
dale:

'why yes - i have been told i look like tin tin.'
Avatar 7:08pm
Fredericks:

Why aren't the cups on their saucers?
Avatar 7:10pm
dday:

We don't need no stinkin' saucers
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:12pm
iiibeat:

The saucers also will fly
Avatar 7:12pm
dday:

"your wife said I should give you the bird"
Avatar 7:20pm
(Murakami Whywolf))):

From the instances I've seen, I always assumed that 'jk' meant 'Iʼm never funny, ever.'.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:26pm
dale:

'i'm sorry, you;ll have to move. this is a table for three.'
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:27pm
spodiodi:

↳ dale @7:26
⭐️
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:27pm
dale:

↳ spodiodi @7:27
alas, too late.
  8:00pm
wenzo:

Thanks for the beautiful music, been doing some much needed cleaning while I listened
  8:14pm
wenzo:

How Dee
  1:51am
Erik:

↳ lazy pierogi @6:57
Gets my vote for “Best of the night” !
  7:49pm
Fred Trellis:

"Oh, superglue."
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