WFMU: Seven Second Delay with Andy and Ken: Playlist from June 7, 2017

Listener comments!
	6:03pm Sebastian: a rabbi, a nun and an Irishman listen to the radio...good evening!
	🚂 6:05pm Ken From Hyde Park: The co-host with stand-up comedy experience should have the edge here. In theory.
	6:05pm JakeGould: WFMU-FM: Uneasy Listening
	6:06pm (Murakami Whywolf))): Laurie Anderson has lawyers.
	6:06pm JakeGould: I thought “Zingers” were snack cakes and they would have some eating competition. :/
	6:09pm Nick the Bard: zingers are snack cakes, remember back when they had that, 60 people in 60 minutes talent show at the UBC remotes? I was actually a back up person for that, and my bit would've been, I get up on stage, make it like I was going to read a crappy poem, and then pelt Andy with Zinger cakes for a minute. Except everyone showed up, so I never got to go on stage :(
	🚂 6:09pm PMD: Ken so little faith in yourself.
	6:09pm Dean: Divine the Punch Line is a way better name for this competition than Battle of the Zingers.
	6:11pm joe mulligan: ken 1 andy 0
	6:11pm JakeGould: I wonder if it’s okay to eat Zingers during Ramadan as a dessert?
	6:11pm Greg from ZONE 5: I woulda gone with "Lyin' ziti"
	6:12pm common: Agreed, dean
	6:12pm (Murakami Whywolf))): Ken and Andy should write their answers independently of each other, then reveal them.
	6:13pm howard in nyc: A chicken sedan
	6:15pm Power Papi: These are riddles, not jokes.
	6:15pm (Murakami Whywolf))): JakeGould: It's o.k. if they're halal and it's night-time.
	6:16pm JakeGould: “What do you call a fake pasta?” “Orzo…” ducks
	6:17pm howard in nyc: Mace
	6:17pm ike: Yes! Ken deserves at least 0.5 points, dammit!
	6:17pm howard in nyc: (or pepper spray)
	6:19pm michelle mello: Hi friends. Tuning in l8 but can't wait to hear some zingers
	6:19pm howard in nyc: Oh wait, I suppose I should not post my guesses at the punch, because if Ken is watching the chat board he will have an unfair advantage. So I'll stop.
	6:20pm Sebastian: I picture howard hunched over the big book of the world's 1.000.000 best jokes (and riddles)
	6:20pm dale: howard in nyc - 'because of the pepper spray' is HI-larious. you win that point.
	6:22pm howard in nyc: just a couple of lucky guesses. Missed the pasta joke.
	🚂 6:23pm Ken From Hyde Park: That sounds pretty neat. Where do I go to buy these Netflix videotapes to play on my VHS at home?
	6:23pm Dean: Oh, for crying out loud. The answer is "a brown stick." Jesus. Is it me? Am I humor impaired?
	6:23pm Sebastian: I'm sure that's the case, but the picture is great, it's a huuuge book
	6:24pm Dean: Here's a joke sans punch line: I told my mother I was going to run away.
	6:24pm Dean: She replied, "On your mark..."
	6:25pm Dean: (Dangerfield)
	6:25pm Hoboken Jack: Great to hear you on-air, Fredericks!
	6:25pm (Murakami Whywolf))): 'I wasn' t paying attention to them. '
	6:26pm Greg from ZONE 5: This is fantastic
	6:26pm dale: what starts with f and ends with uck? FANTASTIC LUCK!
	6:26pm Sebastian: Ken is just piling up that half-a-points
	6:27pm Sebastian: I really hope someone calls in with a knock-knock-joke
	6:28pm dale: my step grandma was vera and my real grandma was hattie belle. real 19th century names.
	6:29pm dale: because warlocks are impotent.
	6:30pm JakeGould: Q: What’s the difference between Andy Breckman and a fidget spinner? A: For $5 a fidget spinner can provide some entertainment value.
	🚂 6:31pm PMD: Oh that reminds me, I need to call up and just say penis over and over
	🚂 6:31pm Ken From Hyde Park: I heard this one in like the third grade. Hollow weenies!
	6:32pm Dean: God damn puns.
	6:32pm Walt: Hollow weenies? Should be for warlocks, not witches.
	6:33pm JakeGould: Brooklyn! Woo!
	6:33pm Fredericks: Larry was making a UFO joke
	6:34pm Fredericks: I'll try and do it more, Hobo!
	6:35pm JakeGould: Mozzafellony!
	6:35pm dale: ken is pretty good with a punchline.
	🚂 6:36pm Ken From Hyde Park: "That's nacho cheese!"
	6:36pm JakeGould: Q: What do you say when someone steals your chip? A: Nacho chip!
	6:37pm Dean: Yes!
	6:37pm howard in nyc: here's one. What does a Russian bride get from her husband on her wedding day that is long and hard?
	6:38pm JakeGould: An iron curtain!
	6:38pm Greg from ZONE 5: "Have you lost weight?"
	6:39pm (Murakami Whywolf))): 'Your waist is so slim!'
	6:39pm dale: "hey - get off of her!' (thinking it's two zeros humping)
	6:39pm Dean: Wait. The wedding day is long and hard?
	🚂 6:40pm Ken From Hyde Park: A broom or a mop ... one of those.
	6:40pm JakeGould: Long and hard Russian wedding day gift: AN IRON CURTAIN!!!
	6:41pm common: Hee, "I just think all the bands are wearing belts."
	6:43pm JakeGould: Q: Why was Bill bored?
	6:43pm Dean: Bill Posters is innocent!
	🚂 6:44pm PMD: Andy, you are making enough money now to create that billboard
	6:45pm Will from Seattle: sechs und vier
	6:46pm Sebastian: Trouble!
	6:46pm common: Trouble!
	6:47pm Nick the Bard: Billboard advertising cost varies greatly depending on location, size, population, campaign duration and demand. For example, 4 weeks of billboard advertising in Baraboo, WI will only cost $250, while a 4-week duration in New York City goes for over $14,000.
	🚂 6:48pm PMD: Well he can DEFINITELY afford one in Baraboo, WI
	6:49pm JakeGould: What about just a roaming billboard truck?
	🚂 6:49pm Ken From Hyde Park: For a radio stunt, you should have Clay do a remote broadcast from the billboard for a month.
	6:49pm dale: i see you're nuts.
	6:49pm Fredericks: I can clearly see your nuts
	6:49pm howard in nyc: Ok, to recap: What does a Russian bride get from her husband on her wedding day that is long and hard? . . . . . . . Her new last name.
	6:50pm Nick the Bard: from what I saw, billboard trucks start at $3,000, but i'm not sure what the duration is
	6:50pm JakeGould: Hire a guy named William Board to hand out handbills about WFMU?
	6:50pm dale: 'cuz evan doesn't know about his own testes.
	6:51pm Nick the Bard: Alternatively you can install and manage the billboard yourself. Factoring in all material and construction costs, a 14’ x 48’ billboard can range from around $15,000 – $20,000 for a wooden structure and $40,000 to $100,000+ for a steel structure. The exact cost depends on the height of the sign (distance from the ground) and whether it’s double or single-sided. (Quotes are from North Carolina’s 2015 Billboard Structures Valuation Guide)
	6:52pm JakeGould: @HerbinNYC: That should read “What does a Russian groom give is bride that is long and hard?” A Russian bride can conceivably marry anyone from any place.
	🚂 6:52pm Ken From Hyde Park: How much does it cost to wrap a vehicle? Buy an old panel van, wrap it with WFMU slogans and web address and drive it around town.
	6:53pm dale: it's for his wake.
	6:53pm Jeff: I'm saving it for the funeral!
	6:53pm howard in nyc: @JakeGould: that is better. I'm not a professional.
	6:54pm Doug Schulkind: The dying father is a mohel. So he needed his bris kit.
	🚂 6:56pm Ken From Hyde Park: This joke has gone all meshugga.
	6:59pm Sebastian: Great show, thanks guys!

Seven Second Delay with Andy and Ken: Playlist from June 7, 2017

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The program formerly known as Dinner at Andy's, The Fuzzy Glove Hour, Whores, and The Happiness Hut. Ken and Andy, also known as The Enema Boys, further lower WFMU's already abysmal standards on a weekly basis. Stunt radio which subjects the radio audience to concepts and topics which mature adults should not have to endure. Find the fatal flaw. (Visit homepage.)

Also available as an MP3 podcast. More info at our Podcast Central page.

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Wed. Nov 13th, 6pm - 8pm: Seven Second Delay

June 7, 2017: Ken vs Andy: The Battle of the Zingers

Listen to this show: Pop-up listen Pop-up player!

Andy and Ken play against each other to guess the punchlines to jokes told by callers. To make things interesting, a $10 wager is placed. Andy joins the show offsite from his office, where he writes his new show for Netflix.

Callers provide many great jokes, most of which stump Ken and Andy. Beth calls in, and together she and Andy tell a convoluted joke about an old Jewish man and brisket. Other notable entries are:

-What do you call a fake noodle? (Ken comes up with "Riga-phoney" for this one, which is better than the real punchline of "impasta". Ken's alternate punchline impresses Andy greatly.)

-What do you all a chicken coop with four doors? A chicken sedan.

-What's brown and sticky? A stick.(Andy LOVES this joke)

-Why can't witches have babies? Because they have hollow weenies.

-What's an owl's favorite rock band? The Who. (Ken guessed this one)

-What does the germophobe call mints at a restaurant? Excremints.

Also, a new slogan for WFMU is derived... "Difficult Listening." (Apologies to Laurie Anderson)

Ken and Andy discuss the possibility of putting some form of this on a billboard on Route 280.

Recap by Andrew M.

Artist	Track	Album	Label	Year	Format	Comments	Images	New * / Special ***	Approx. start time
Ken & Andy	"Ken & Andy"								0:00:00 (Pop-up)

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Listener comments!
	6:03pm Sebastian: a rabbi, a nun and an Irishman listen to the radio...good evening!
	🚂 6:05pm Ken From Hyde Park: The co-host with stand-up comedy experience should have the edge here. In theory.
	6:05pm JakeGould: WFMU-FM: Uneasy Listening
	6:06pm (Murakami Whywolf))): Laurie Anderson has lawyers.
	6:06pm JakeGould: I thought “Zingers” were snack cakes and they would have some eating competition. :/
	6:09pm Nick the Bard: zingers are snack cakes, remember back when they had that, 60 people in 60 minutes talent show at the UBC remotes? I was actually a back up person for that, and my bit would've been, I get up on stage, make it like I was going to read a crappy poem, and then pelt Andy with Zinger cakes for a minute. Except everyone showed up, so I never got to go on stage :(
	🚂 6:09pm PMD: Ken so little faith in yourself.
	6:09pm Dean: Divine the Punch Line is a way better name for this competition than Battle of the Zingers.
	6:11pm joe mulligan: ken 1 andy 0
	6:11pm JakeGould: I wonder if it’s okay to eat Zingers during Ramadan as a dessert?
	6:11pm Greg from ZONE 5: I woulda gone with "Lyin' ziti"
	6:12pm common: Agreed, dean
	6:12pm (Murakami Whywolf))): Ken and Andy should write their answers independently of each other, then reveal them.
	6:13pm howard in nyc: A chicken sedan
	6:15pm Power Papi: These are riddles, not jokes.
	6:15pm (Murakami Whywolf))): JakeGould: It's o.k. if they're halal and it's night-time.
	6:16pm JakeGould: “What do you call a fake pasta?” “Orzo…” ducks
	6:17pm howard in nyc: Mace
	6:17pm ike: Yes! Ken deserves at least 0.5 points, dammit!
	6:17pm howard in nyc: (or pepper spray)
	6:19pm michelle mello: Hi friends. Tuning in l8 but can't wait to hear some zingers
	6:19pm howard in nyc: Oh wait, I suppose I should not post my guesses at the punch, because if Ken is watching the chat board he will have an unfair advantage. So I'll stop.
	6:20pm Sebastian: I picture howard hunched over the big book of the world's 1.000.000 best jokes (and riddles)
	6:20pm dale: howard in nyc - 'because of the pepper spray' is HI-larious. you win that point.
	6:22pm howard in nyc: just a couple of lucky guesses. Missed the pasta joke.
	🚂 6:23pm Ken From Hyde Park: That sounds pretty neat. Where do I go to buy these Netflix videotapes to play on my VHS at home?
	6:23pm Dean: Oh, for crying out loud. The answer is "a brown stick." Jesus. Is it me? Am I humor impaired?
	6:23pm Sebastian: I'm sure that's the case, but the picture is great, it's a huuuge book
	6:24pm Dean: Here's a joke sans punch line: I told my mother I was going to run away.
	6:24pm Dean: She replied, "On your mark..."
	6:25pm Dean: (Dangerfield)
	6:25pm Hoboken Jack: Great to hear you on-air, Fredericks!
	6:25pm (Murakami Whywolf))): 'I wasn' t paying attention to them. '
	6:26pm Greg from ZONE 5: This is fantastic
	6:26pm dale: what starts with f and ends with uck? FANTASTIC LUCK!
	6:26pm Sebastian: Ken is just piling up that half-a-points
	6:27pm Sebastian: I really hope someone calls in with a knock-knock-joke
	6:28pm dale: my step grandma was vera and my real grandma was hattie belle. real 19th century names.
	6:29pm dale: because warlocks are impotent.
	6:30pm JakeGould: Q: What’s the difference between Andy Breckman and a fidget spinner? A: For $5 a fidget spinner can provide some entertainment value.
	🚂 6:31pm PMD: Oh that reminds me, I need to call up and just say penis over and over
	🚂 6:31pm Ken From Hyde Park: I heard this one in like the third grade. Hollow weenies!
	6:32pm Dean: God damn puns.
	6:32pm Walt: Hollow weenies? Should be for warlocks, not witches.
	6:33pm JakeGould: Brooklyn! Woo!
	6:33pm Fredericks: Larry was making a UFO joke
	6:34pm Fredericks: I'll try and do it more, Hobo!
	6:35pm JakeGould: Mozzafellony!
	6:35pm dale: ken is pretty good with a punchline.
	🚂 6:36pm Ken From Hyde Park: "That's nacho cheese!"
	6:36pm JakeGould: Q: What do you say when someone steals your chip? A: Nacho chip!
	6:37pm Dean: Yes!
	6:37pm howard in nyc: here's one. What does a Russian bride get from her husband on her wedding day that is long and hard?
	6:38pm JakeGould: An iron curtain!
	6:38pm Greg from ZONE 5: "Have you lost weight?"
	6:39pm (Murakami Whywolf))): 'Your waist is so slim!'
	6:39pm dale: "hey - get off of her!' (thinking it's two zeros humping)
	6:39pm Dean: Wait. The wedding day is long and hard?
	🚂 6:40pm Ken From Hyde Park: A broom or a mop ... one of those.
	6:40pm JakeGould: Long and hard Russian wedding day gift: AN IRON CURTAIN!!!
	6:41pm common: Hee, "I just think all the bands are wearing belts."
	6:43pm JakeGould: Q: Why was Bill bored?
	6:43pm Dean: Bill Posters is innocent!
	🚂 6:44pm PMD: Andy, you are making enough money now to create that billboard
	6:45pm Will from Seattle: sechs und vier
	6:46pm Sebastian: Trouble!
	6:46pm common: Trouble!
	6:47pm Nick the Bard: Billboard advertising cost varies greatly depending on location, size, population, campaign duration and demand. For example, 4 weeks of billboard advertising in Baraboo, WI will only cost $250, while a 4-week duration in New York City goes for over $14,000.
	🚂 6:48pm PMD: Well he can DEFINITELY afford one in Baraboo, WI
	6:49pm JakeGould: What about just a roaming billboard truck?
	🚂 6:49pm Ken From Hyde Park: For a radio stunt, you should have Clay do a remote broadcast from the billboard for a month.
	6:49pm dale: i see you're nuts.
	6:49pm Fredericks: I can clearly see your nuts
	6:49pm howard in nyc: Ok, to recap: What does a Russian bride get from her husband on her wedding day that is long and hard? . . . . . . . Her new last name.
	6:50pm Nick the Bard: from what I saw, billboard trucks start at $3,000, but i'm not sure what the duration is
	6:50pm JakeGould: Hire a guy named William Board to hand out handbills about WFMU?
	6:50pm dale: 'cuz evan doesn't know about his own testes.
	6:51pm Nick the Bard: Alternatively you can install and manage the billboard yourself. Factoring in all material and construction costs, a 14’ x 48’ billboard can range from around $15,000 – $20,000 for a wooden structure and $40,000 to $100,000+ for a steel structure. The exact cost depends on the height of the sign (distance from the ground) and whether it’s double or single-sided. (Quotes are from North Carolina’s 2015 Billboard Structures Valuation Guide)
	6:52pm JakeGould: @HerbinNYC: That should read “What does a Russian groom give is bride that is long and hard?” A Russian bride can conceivably marry anyone from any place.
	🚂 6:52pm Ken From Hyde Park: How much does it cost to wrap a vehicle? Buy an old panel van, wrap it with WFMU slogans and web address and drive it around town.
	6:53pm dale: it's for his wake.
	6:53pm Jeff: I'm saving it for the funeral!
	6:53pm howard in nyc: @JakeGould: that is better. I'm not a professional.
	6:54pm Doug Schulkind: The dying father is a mohel. So he needed his bris kit.
	🚂 6:56pm Ken From Hyde Park: This joke has gone all meshugga.
	6:59pm Sebastian: Great show, thanks guys!

Seven Second Delay with Andy and Ken: Playlist from June 7, 2017

Upcoming events:

Listener comments!

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